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Newborn no-no’s – a mother’s wishlist

Newborn no-no’s – a mother’s wishlist

We’ve all been there.  You’ve recently given birth to your beautiful newborn baby and your hormones are running wild.

At that stage, there’s a lot that can agitate a mother, trust me.  Amongst these agitations there are a lot of things that other people say and do which simply boil your blood.

So, if you’re reading this, never say or do any of the following when you come into contact with a newborn baby and his or her unpredictable mother.  You just don’t know what the consequences will be.

Don’t criticise

This is probably the number one piece of advice I would give to people who come into contact with a mother of a newborn.  Particularly if it’s her first child, she’s going be stressed, worried, and above all, absolutely knackered.  She might have worries that she’s not doing it right, anxieties about the baby or fears about the future.  She doesn’t need you telling her that her baby not wearing a hat is going to lead to pneumonia.

DO NOT guess the gender

Even if a baby looks exactly like a boy, do not assume that the baby definitely is a boy.  If the baby is not a boy and you’ve just called her a boy, then as far as a mother is concerned, you’ve just intimated that her darling little girl is masculine.

Do not ask to hold the baby (unless you know the parents well)

Newborn mothers can understandably be very protective of their babies.  They might be fine with you holding their baby, but they also might not.  Unless you’re confident that you’re a close enough friend or family member, it’s best to wait for an invitation.

Don’t tell them they look tired

Their newborn baby has kept them up for hours on end for the last week and of course they look tired, but they certainly don’t need to be told that they look tired.  Pointing out that a newborn mother looks tired is stating a very obvious fact and only serves to potentially make her feel self-conscious about the way that she looks

Don’t ask them about whether they’re going back to work

This really is a lose-lose line of questioning.  If she is going back to work, then there’s every chance that she’ll feel like you’re judging her for going back to work rather than staying at home with her baby.  Equally, if she’s not planning on going back to work anytime soon, she may well think that you’re judging her for not working and perhaps even subtly suggesting that you don’t think bringing up a child can be classified as ‘work’.

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